"live with intention. walk to the edge. listen hard. practice wellness. play with abandon. laugh. choose with no regret. continue to learn. appreciate your friends. do what you love. live as if this is all there is." Mary Anne Radmacher

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Goodbye to 2011

It's been an interesting year.  It would take me forever to review the entire year so I'll keep it as brief as I can. 

Suffice it to say that it started out pretty good.  I was on a roll with my nutrition and workouts.  I was making moderate progress.  Of course it's never enough ... or fast enough ... for my liking.

Spring hit and with it gardening season.  Crazy busy.  Always lots to do (I have a decent sized garden to tend to and there's lots of moving and dividing etc to do).  I was so tired all the time and getting up at 4 a.m. was a little more than I could handle regularly.  Unfortunately gardening alone was not nearly enough activity for what I needed to accomplish.  Add to all the work, our social calendar this past year has been NUTS!  I love it though ... and we actually went to other peoples homes mostly instead of the usual us entertaining.  I love balancing the two ... entertaining and visiting.  I tried to eat well ... watch my portions ... but somehow the weight crept back up.

Things weren't very good at work either for the first 8 months this year.  There was just a lot of frustration in a lot of areas of my life.  I kept trying to make progress ... kept slipping back.  Then I had a conversation with my newest teammate at work.  And a lightbulb went on in my head.  I decided to shake up my life.  Little did I know what I was getting myself into.  But things got a LOT better at work.

It started with a new hair colour and style.  Then I met Andrew (my RMT and health coach) and my life was completely turned upside down.  He recognized the frustration.  He also recognized that I would do this ... he didn't quite think it was going to be done in such a major way.  But hey ... if you're going to do something ... do it right.  It took completely changing the way I eat, the way I think and the way I work out to make such a dramatic change.

Is it a struggle sometimes?  Absolutely.  Do I get tired of such a restricted diet?  You bet.  Do I EVER want to go back to where I was before?  NEVER!

I had my biggest test and my biggest victory just a couple of days ago.  Long story short, I lost my temper over something stupid (I was frustrated).  Thankfully Barry and Leila went for a drive to look at Christmas lights ... he offered to stay home ... I definitely wanted to be alone.  So I'm home alone and all of a sudden I had this wicked urge to eat something completely "illegal".  So I went upstairs, thinking I would have a couple of the chocolate coconut drops that are in the freezer.   Then I decided I wanted something to crunch on instead.  I had my hand on the box of crackers (I'm gluten and dairy free ... crackers are VERY bad for me), pulled them out of the cupboard ... looked at them and said "NO!" out loud.  I put them back, went back downstairs and immediately calmed down.  Dunno what that was all about ... all I know is that I won.  And I am damned proud of myself.  That was the first big test in 3 1/2 months.  I don't get cravings any more.  But this was a trigger.

The thing that kept me from eating the crackers ... I am TERRIFIED that if I have one cracker ... one cookie ... one of something that I shouldn't (especially my trigger foods) ... and especially if it's an emotional reaction ... that I am going to slide terribly and be back to where I was 4 months.  I cannot ... I will not ... allow this to happen. 

I am happy to live a very structured life ... in workouts ... in eating ... even the timing of when I eat ... I'm just fine with all that.  What I'm not fine with ... is an out of control life.

Can anyone do this?  Absolutely ... if they choose to.  Does everyone need to?  I don't think so.  But I do believe that if you've tried and tried and tried and nothing has worked well ... then you need to shake up your life.  Is it scary?  You bet!  Is it worth it?  ABSOLUTELY!

I've even decided to change my career.  Not sure exactly what yet.  But it will have something to do with health, wellness, fitness, nutrition.  Perhaps a health coach.  Perhaps a nutritionist.  I don't know right now.  That's definitely a conversation I need to have with Andrew.  But that's for 2012.

So I'm ending 2011 a very happy woman.  Along with all these changes, my marriage is better than ever .. Barry is an amazing supporter.  We've been together 19 years ... he met a fairly slender woman ... watched as I ballooned up ... and has supported me as I'm shrinking.  What more could a woman ask for.

I believe with all my heart that 2012 is going to be our best year yet.  And I hope that it is your best year too!

Happy New Year Everyone!

1 comment:

  1. Honey, I can't tell you how unbelievably proud I am of you. Proud of what you've accomplished, proud of your attitude, proud to be your husband. I see big things in 2012 and I know you'll continue to achieve what you set out to do, whatever it may be. Thanks for making my 2011 so amazing.

    I love you.